At some times, you will feel that you are drowning. It’s not real, but it’s worse. Can you imagine drowning with your feet on the ground? It’s knowing what to do and not knowing how or where. It can even be more complicated that you’d think the world is conspiring against you. It happens. Life has planned this to each and everyone of us.
Do you question your existence? Apparently, I do.
I know I am alive because God has created us for a reason. But, it is not like I want you to keep doing this. I don’t.
This is not supposed to be suicidal but why am I alive again?
Along with all of this, you will need someone to save you. You will find a lot of people and friends helping you out, doing their best to put a smile on you face, even a fake one. You’ll find out that they are trying to pour some happiness all over you.
But what if your happiness is attached to someone specific? Here, you will start drowning really.
You won’t ever be saved except by that person who seems to be your savor. It’s your brain, heart and soul which are, unintentionally, attached to that someone who’s bringing you down to the deepest sheets of life; yet they are the only one who can make everything better again.
Scary, right?
It’s really scary and it could make me lose my mind how this could even happen. I mean, my whole life and a person controlling it? Who am I? Why am I there stuck in the middle between something I want to end aka life and someone I need and can’t have?
The worse comes when you realize that your weakness and strength evolve around someone. I mean, there is more to screw up? I already have enough to fix; and I am not even sure if I will be able to fix anything.
It will take me time to actually fulfill this, but I will keep saying it till I start floating and stop drowning. I repeat it everyday to myself: I refuse to sink.
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