The Cairene

In this moment, where I am writing this line, the world population count is 7,121,438,075 and it decreases and increases every millisecond of time passing by. I stopped focusing with the number and start thinking that I am one of that count, I am one of the seven billions other people struggling through life. Then I scrolled down and saw the number of deaths and I starting thinking to myself that one day, I will be one of that count as well. I found myself drifting away from all of the numbers and my head took me to self questioning. Who am I? I am one in an ocean of people. I started to think to myself, I am just a person; a tiny flesh compared to everything else, starting from humans and ending at atoms, molecules and every little thing created in wide vacuum. I, as a human, should live for self and others. I am going to admit that I, apparently, happen to not like people so much, but I am still something. I want to cross a line and leave my mark somewhere that I have decide...

I find God in pain. Pain is our savior and we just deny it.  It's the sweet and bitter method of survival. It saves us from ourselves, even when we don't want to be saved.  It's where I find God the most. Many people cut, and if they feel no pain, they'd have gone so deep down their flesh and killed themselves. Pain saved them;  God is there. Pain makes you shiver and fall.  It makes you palled and relieved. God is there. Pain comes with and without fear. It can make you feel scared but safe. God is there. Emotional pain is there almost all the time,  but it's still indefinable.  Physical pain is there and we fear it although it makes us feel less numb.  Some run to it while others others run from it. Just lik believing and disbelieving,  Just faith and infidelity. God is there. You can't see it, but  You feel it; beneath your skins,  inside your spine, and around your bones,  It can...

I find happiness in food, peace in books and life in death. I find smiles in pictures, pain in faces and souls in breaths. I find secrets in eyes, scars in flesh and movement in rest. I find lies in words, tears in rain, and loneliness in souls. I find power in words, weakness in voices and sadness in flesh. I find hypocrisy in feelings, knives in love and blood in ‘I love you’ I find chills in change, memories in revolutions, and fear in the enemy. I find panic in laughter, reasons in questions and answers in gazes, I find everything in black& white, and meanings in colours. I find beauty in art, God in peace, and infinity in believing. I find myself lost, home in your shoulders and warmth between your arms. I find everything in you, the right and the good, the wrong and bad. I have found you once, but not anymore.