The Cairene

Today I dropped a plate in the Kitchen and it was broken into small pieces. Usually when I drop anything, you are left with broken pieces of different sizes. However, this is not what I am going to talk about. I was sweeping the shattered pieces of glass. It was obvious it can never be fixed, ever. I didn’t know if I swept it all, or there are other pieces that sneaked under the table or whatever. It was just some useless tiny pieces of glass that I can do nothing with but throw away. After all, it was the plate, broken but still. I know it was. Then I started to think of us, humans. How we get broken into pieces and manage to collect them all together just to survive. It’s more complicated when it comes to us. It’s not about being broken; it’s about how our pieces are all intangible but we manage to find them (maybe we don’t and would never again, but we seek them). It’s even harder that we have to fix those pieces, by ourselves. Nobody will sweep you, nobody will put you up again...

We don’t control our feelings toward anyone. We just can’t undo feeling something. We get stuck in wanting something which we probably can’t have. She knows about that and maybe more, but she just can not cope or relax. It haunts her thoughts and forces her to shed tears. It bothers her how she’s clinging but with that part inside her begging her to let go. She can’t have them, yet she can’t escape them. She have to stop loving those who don’t notice her, yet she can’t stop nor hate. It freezes her mind and blow away her confidence. It built up walls of indescribable feelings inside her. Those walls of burdens are full of holes of uncertainty which she’s afraid if they fell, they would grab her down. She doesn't want her bad decisions to lead her to her downfall, but it’s not in her hands. She isn't controlling herself anymore. She’s always gone unnoticed. Maybe it helps her to give up on trying, but it doesn't help when it comes to self love....

At some times, you will feel that you are drowning. It’s not real, but it’s worse. Can you imagine drowning with your feet on the ground? It’s knowing what to do and not knowing how or where. It can even be more complicated that you’d think the world is conspiring against you. It happens. Life has planned this to each and everyone of us. Do you question your existence? Apparently, I do. I know I am alive because God has created us for a reason. But, it is not like I want you to keep doing this. I don’t. This is not supposed to be suicidal but why am I alive again?  Along with all of this, you will need someone to save you. You will find a lot of people and friends helping you out, doing their best to put a smile on you face, even a fake one. You’ll find out that they are trying to pour some happiness all over you. But what if your happiness is attached to someone specific? Here, you will start drowning really. You won’t ever be saved except by th...