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Growing up

When I was younger, I was a very curious kid. I wanted to know everything and try everything on my own without any supervision. I loved staying around older people and reading every banners or ads billboards. I even read the newspaper and would count every article's number of words (Don't ask me why I used to do that, but I liked to do it anyway). I loved playing in our street and buying groceries for mama and I'd get very pissed off if she asks my brother to accompany me; I liked independence. I don't know if that curiosity was related to the fact that I have older 5 siblings, but I didn't mind it, I guess. I remember when baba brought a PC computer for the first time for my sister I was very excited to use it. I actually did; in 3 days, I was a solitaire pro and I was only 6 and that PC was only 1GB, but I gotta admit it took me a while to know what a gigabyte is).

 I liked to be taken seriously all the time that I would buy a mango fruit instead of snacks and sweets. The fakahani(man who sells fruits) always felt surprised that I want to mango fruit for 0.75 pounds, but he'd give it to me anyway. I loved trying all the adults games at the amusement parks although I was short and tint, yet I would stand on the tip of my toes to look taller so they let me in have a ride into the huge roller-coasters. It didn't scare me at all. 
My favourite two words were 'why?' and 'how?' I liked to question every little thing and quench my thirst for knowledge. I didn't complain it was too much because I never got enough. 
And now, I am almost 20 and I learnt that sometimes, one should not question few things because they will never find any justifications and the answers can never be put in words. My favourite word became 'whatever' and favourite thing to do is letting go of questions and sighing. I stopped believing in abstract answers and started longing to more tangible things. I stopped feeling hungry for replies and started wanting to travel to see the universe. It's less smart, but I am lazy to think and I'd love to see with my naked eyes. It's out of boredom not a thirst for knowledge. I'd actually know things because I have to, not because I want to.
I am no longer curious or excited to know because it's kind of exhausting to question my faith, my life and my future. Yes, it's scary, but I learnt that it's better to leave few things flawed than totally destroying them while trying to make them look so perfect. Out of all the touchable objects, nothing is and nothing will-except Qura'an, because its literature takes me to fantasy trips. 

Now, I am almost 20, and I stopped questioning things which are in fact dipped in oceans of question marks waiting for the answers because I think I grew out of it. No, I actually mean, I grew up.

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