Sick

I am sick of this world. I am sick of repetition of events. I am sick of the repetition of the reactions to the repetitive events. I am sick of how things have become. I am sick of the Arab leaders' selfishness. I am sick of the world's cruelness. I am sick of my helplessness. I am sick of the graphic images that get nothing but numbers of shares and re-tweets and likes and nonsense. All what you see is beautifully, heart-wrenchingly and heartrendingly written (sick) posts and it goes on and on. You see, something sick happens, we whine behind our screens for days, then the days pass and we are put on repeat. Such as sick cycle. I am sick of the UN and its pointless meetings and resolutions. It's not about donations. It's not about hoping and wishing and condemning and deploring and rejecting; it's sick, ridiculously sick. It sucks. I am sick of the Arab Spring that brought nothing but storms. I am sick of distance, borders and checkpoints. I am sick of my country. I am sick of death, unmerciful death. I am sick of the deceased pictures. It makes me sad and helpless. Helplessness is depressing. I am sick of crimes and wars being called crises.

I am sick of revolutionary art and petitions, fund raising events and all its pointlessness. They aren't supposed to be suffering of this in the first place. They don't need money, they need to go back home. They need the war to stop without inferiors claiming to save their homelands from made up terrorist organizations and conspiracy theories. Fucking inferiors killing citizens and kids and women and considering them collateral damage. What? They said apologies? Sick.

I am sick of war. I am sick of peace, which is nothing but a word, an antonym of war, an illusion. I am sick of posts on the social media full of whining and wailing followed by sleep and rest while the ones written about are dying in the middle of cold oceans. I am really sick of these kinds of posts, and mine. This post you are reading now is pointless and sick. I am sick of the world and its leaders, fucking hypocrites. I am sick of the shafts of hope, that only last for hours or days then disappear stripping away the molecules of mercy floating around the refugees. They swim merciless seas and walk brutal roads to get arrested and beaten. Families get killed by our silence. It's sick.

I am sick of my cowardliness and everyone else's. I am sick of myself. I am sick of being hopeless. I am sick of humanity who refuses to show up. Where you at? I am angry. I am sick of human rights organizations that do nothing but condemn the UN that condemns and deplores and rejects. It's another sick cycle. And it's pointlessly sick. I am sick of statistics; they bloody think refugees are just numbers. I am sick of numbers. For the past four years, we have been counting the dead and the missing. I lost count.