Skip to main content

I am nothing but,

In this moment, where I am writing this line, the world population count is 7,121,438,075 and it decreases and increases every millisecond of time passing by. I stopped focusing with the number and start thinking that I am one of that count, I am one of the seven billions other people struggling through life. Then I scrolled down and saw the number of deaths and I starting thinking to myself that one day, I will be one of that count as well.

I found myself drifting away from all of the numbers and my head took me to self questioning. Who am I? I am one in an ocean of people. I started to think to myself, I am just a person; a tiny flesh compared to everything else, starting from humans and ending at atoms, molecules and every little thing created in wide vacuum.

I, as a human, should live for self and others. I am going to admit that I, apparently, happen to not like people so much, but I am still something. I want to cross a line and leave my mark somewhere that I have decided who I am or who I should be.

I am nothing but, I could be, or would love to believe that I am something.

I am the voice for the voiceless, the hope for the hopeless, the soul for the soulless and the cheerleader for the cheerless. I am the color for the colorless, the life for the lifeless and the power for the powerless. I am the oxygen for the breathless, the home for the homeless, the rest for the restless and warrior for the defenseless. I am the idea for the brainless, and clue for the clueless and memories for the mindless. I am the weight for the weightless, the vision for the visionless and the sight for the sightless.

I am nothing, but worthless. I am nothing of what I have mentioned above because the Almighty God, alone, is full of grace. God  is great, and no human or thing on this planet can compete him;  God is great.
Again, I am nothing but a human being living on this planet with another 7 billion people. I can’t please everyone, even if you there was only two humans on the whole planet. I can’t be anything because I am not a God. I can’t be everything anyone wants me to be, not even what I, myself, want to become.

Thus, I am nothing but a person; hopeless, restless, reckless, soulless and emotionally rent.


I am not a perfectionist, and I am the one who needs what I thought I could be for someone else. I am nothing, but a lost person running after her shadows, nothing but a lost soul searching for the light. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

11 Types of Students you meet at CUFE.

Disclaimer: This post is for fun purpose, so you guys don't take it seriously. It is all about generalizing and no one is particularly targeted. 1- AIESEC Fanatics: They think they are the coolest people taking part in the most cool extracurricular activity. They MUST, I repeat, they must be wearing those lousy aiesec bracelets. They try too hard to look like a badass group specially when it comes to standing at their booth. 2- The Nerd-Extremist There are plenty of this type. Almost everyone in CUFE (Except me ofc). Students from this type would never let their GPA drop less than 4.0 or 3.9. Getting 3.89999999999999 might lead them to some suicidal acts or self-harm. They never skip a class and never leave a lost mark in a quiz unquestioned. 3-The top student-wanna-be These usually have a low IQ, but they are so pretentious. They stick to the nerds' asses and try too hard to befriend them. They never skip lectures,bytlaza2o fel drs w el TAs without mercy,...
14 comments
Read more

Charlie's poem from Perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

“Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Chops" because that was the name of his dog And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed a lot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Autumn" because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of it...
1 comment
Read more

Inner Bullshit: After Midnight.

It has been a long while since I let out my inner bullshit on my blog. I haven't been writing anything about my own feelings, or I didn't try to put them in words, pour them out through my shaky fingertips pressing on the keyboard buttons, confused and bewildered. I am not sure of what I want exactly and I am not sure if I going to do anything about it. As for now, I am trying to put the letters next to each other to end up making any sense. I have to let it out. I need to. I need to runaway, and by running away, I don't mean from the place where I am sitting right now. It's not about home, it's not about land and it's not about this fucked up country. Those things are really small compared to all what I have inside my head. It usually feels like a whole new universe but without a sun or a moon. Light and dark comes in the form of emotions and feelings. The worst thing is that there's no time or clocks and it only hits me. It hits and grabs me along as I ...
4 comments
Read more