Where I find myself.

It has been too long since I last left my house to listen to people in the street. For more than two months, I wasn’t really interested in listening to anyone, especially after I have been through a lot of personal problems. I wasn’t feeling excited about helping anyone anymore. I usually had unhealthy thoughts ringing in my head and telling me that people don’t really deserve me. I used to tell myself that I can’t even hold my own sh*t together to hold others’. I simply spent most of my time alone, yet, I was still lost. I couldn’t find myself in locking up myself in my room. However, I loved solitary. I loved every moment of it and considered it precious. I searched for myself, but I still couldn’t find me. I can’t deny that I have found a huge part, but there was still a missing piece in my soul’s puzzle. I searched for it everywhere, but nothing.

Until, at last, I decided to love out of my bubble. I did. I took the cardboard, left my locked room and roamed around the streets again.

People started looking at me again. I no longer felt like a stranger and I felt my soul shaping up itself. I am not sure how, why or what, but all I know that it felt so good. There was a heavy load pushed away off my shoulder and a thick layer of dust swept away of my soul. It was ecstatic and that was when I knew it all. I knew that I am there, in the others’ struggles. I knew how we are created for each other. I knew that the missing puzzle piece is the rest of peoples’ faces.

We are all weak, needy and tired. I am tired too. But I found myself in giving more than in taking. You will too, because giving is easier because you decide instead of wait for someone to actually give. I am weak too. But I found myself in giving people a helping hand and strength. It made me strong as well. I am needy too. But I find myself in those who need me.