The Cairene

We don’t control our feelings toward anyone. We just can’t undo feeling something. We get stuck in wanting something which we probably can’t have. She knows about that and maybe more, but she just can not cope or relax. It haunts her thoughts and forces her to shed tears. It bothers her how she’s clinging but with that part inside her begging her to let go. She can’t have them, yet she can’t escape them. She have to stop loving those who don’t notice her, yet she can’t stop nor hate. It freezes her mind and blow away her confidence. It built up walls of indescribable feelings inside her. Those walls of burdens are full of holes of uncertainty which she’s afraid if they fell, they would grab her down. She doesn't want her bad decisions to lead her to her downfall, but it’s not in her hands. She isn't controlling herself anymore. She’s always gone unnoticed. Maybe it helps her to give up on trying, but it doesn't help when it comes to self love. She looks into t

I don’t what I want to say or how I am going to start this. Let’s agree that I will just let my fingers touch the Keyboard and the bullshit will come out eventually. *SPOILER*: I am going to just rant. If you aren't allergic to bullshit, keep reading. If you are allergic to bullshit, keep fucking reading! Falling for someone is stupid. Needing someone is awful. This ain't working but i am just expressing how I have realised that there is no such a thing called getting over someone or forgetting about them. We don’t simply forget about someone who once moved us. Some people will always own that corner of you brain no matter how fast they ran or how bad they hurt you.  It doesn't have to be about love and relationships, it’s just about human beings and their power to ruin each other.  Maybe you don’t keep wanting that person in your life, but there will be time when they start fucking up your mind and their small corner in your brain will turn into cancer that w

I am mentally exhausted. I am broke and I don’t know if it’s because I want you or because I won’t admit it to you. I don’t want to know either. I’d wish to have you but I won’t. I’d tell you that I need you but I don’t. I can’t love you as much as I like you. I am falling but not in love and I don’t know what I am falling into which is making it more sophisticated. Yes, I want your least attention but I don’t want it because it makes me greedy while I can’t have more. I am sick of over thinking about something that will never exist. I am sick of you and your perfection in my eyes though you are so screwed and imperfect.  Your name depresses me and puts a smile on my face at the same time. But I should hold my shit together and you aren't letting me. I am stuck in the middle of liking you and not having the courage to tell you about it. I don’t know my chances but I won’t chase you. I know I will eventually hate you. I do now but I don’t. Sooner or later, I

At some times, you will feel that you are drowning. It’s not real, but it’s worse. Can you imagine drowning with your feet on the ground? It’s knowing what to do and not knowing how or where. It can even be more complicated that you’d think the world is conspiring against you. It happens. Life has planned this to each and everyone of us. Do you question your existence? Apparently, I do. I know I am alive because God has created us for a reason. But, it is not like I want you to keep doing this. I don’t. This is not supposed to be suicidal but why am I alive again?  Along with all of this, you will need someone to save you. You will find a lot of people and friends helping you out, doing their best to put a smile on you face, even a fake one. You’ll find out that they are trying to pour some happiness all over you. But what if your happiness is attached to someone specific? Here, you will start drowning really. You won’t ever be saved except by that p

“I promise”, he said.  She smiled and breathed him in. He had his arms around her and blew a soft kiss on the top of her nose. Their eyes met and he earned her trust, after losing it too many times before.  He broke too many promises before; to never let go, to never cheat, to never lie, to never hurt her or make her feel lonely. She believed, all his lies. She loved him with all her heart. She knew love. Felt love. She loved the way he made her feel. She was weak, lonely, depressed and lost hope in everything. She got the worst nightmares. He stepped in and changed it all.  He changed her, without her noticing.  To her, everything evolved around him. She dreamed about him and woke up to his texts and phone calls.  He promised her today to never let her go. They went for a walk. It was full of laughs, kisses, hugs and cuddles. It was heaven on earth and they had nothing to worry about, just time. They watched the sunset together, kissed slowly with their eyes sh

It could be weird to think that way, but I just think that way. I don’t know how to start actually but it is like..don’t you ever think about people saying “I love my life” or saying “I am living the best times of my whole life”. Take a deeper look. Biologically, living means breathing. Basically, living means surviving. I mean, we all breathe. We all have lungs. We are all surviving. Truth to be told, we aren’t all really living.  Depression, break ups, divorce and all of the bad things; they exist and they can make you lose the grip of your body. You slip away softly and if you didn’t catch up, it could end up with not even surviving.  Let us no go away from the main point.  I believe there is a difference. God have plans but this is not about life and death. It is about us human beings and our existence. Sometimes I am breathing but not really breathing. I am just surviving the absence of life; death. But it doesn’t mean I am living.  Living is to be happy, satisfied, h

Some spend thousands on watches, maybe to give the prestige and maybe to really use it. I don’t use watches for this, and I don’t even wear one.  I don’t believe in time. Yes of course exams will have time limit and I have to organize myself, but I do this by heart. They say time fly, but not really. I would make a bond with time and it decides to stay at the end. I am sure you don’t get a word of what I have said above, so let me start again. How were clocks invented? The sunset, and the sunrise? The earth revolves around the sun at constant speed and some sciences materials which I don’t really know accurately. Let me start again. I mean, I wake up by sunrise and I know it is morning. When the sun decides to leave (or the point I live at decides to give its back to the sun), night starts. I start to feel that and sense that. I feel the day is ending when I run out of energy in summer. I feel the day ending when I am sleepy in winter. Let away insomnia).  All what I h

Hear me speak, in my silence. Listen to my breath, in my death. See me cry, in my smiles. Watch me rise, as you fall. See my happiness, in my struggles. See the truth, within my lies. Watch the oceans, inside my eyes. Get away, of my life. I need space. I need peace.

Crammed emotions inside you. Squeezed words jammed too. You need magic to get them out. You can’t find enough words, or courage. You keep them for yourself. If you tried, you won’t even spell. In few words, you can say it well In words of silence, I understand. Look into my eyes, I’ll take your hands. Stay silent and look at me.  Because, again my friend; In few words of silence,  your feelings; are what your heart tells. 

Like feathers, things could fall. Like glasses, they break your soul. Alone or in a crowd, it chases you. Cause you are a part inside it all. You can’t escape. Do all what you want, so bad you will fail. Up or down, you will still be there. You can’t escape. Run or walk. Do everything. Life chases you and teaches you, The hard way. Hide under the blanket, shut the doors. You tried all the ways now. Reality says that you are still there. So Stop trying to escape.  and wash your sins instead.

He was born in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the war with its gloomy atmosphere that is only filled with fear. He was born inside the scene of people screaming, the blood showering and the sound of  bombs that can cause a complete deafness. Years have passed and he became 7 years old, and with every breath he takes, he hates the enemy more and more. Everyday he fills his heart with more hate to Israel...He had wishes that one day  he would have the power destroy them and get back his only warm home; Palestine. The hate increased when he lost his dad at his ninth birthday, and his heart was refilled with more hatred when he came back from school to find his house in pieces. And one good thing...He learned to never know fear or tears. He grew up to be a strong little man who fights to free his country from the occupy. He prayed to God to free Palestine...More years passed and he grew older like an untamed lion searching to eat his prey till his heart became almost completely fil

Some people feel so much pity for the disabled people. You can be like "Oh, they can't hear well, or they suffer from so and so", but the truth is that these (or we as I have disability in my hearing sense) are so much stronger than you. You can feel we are sad or weak, but you just need to see through them not  just look them as a disabled or out of actions. Every disabled person has many other blessings which nobody else could have. Having a hearing impairment doesn't stop me from getting involved. On the other hand, I believe that I have many other things which I am thankful for. I can tell what are you saying through watching your  lip-syncs. Just observing the lips and I can respond easy. Also, I can know how people feel about the others by just seeing them and their facial expression or attitude. I can look inside you, not at you. We have faith buried deep inside us. Some could think that we always feel bad or ashamed, but this is not right, at all. I

I got back from school. I have nothing to say, but everyday things change. People change for reasons 'I know'. I know why you are doing this and that. I can read your minds through your eyes' iris. That's how it goes. My mind turns around and around. It falls and gets up again. I don't care about how people react, but myself. It reacts. It is not me who react, but some other girl inside me react and ache. I don't have any specific reason to write this..I am just opening up. My life has nothing to hide about. You can all figure it out easy and know everything. I won't say that's life; I would say that's everything. Smiles and laughs which I know the dislike or hate behind. I don't need that. I prefer keeping away from people, not because I am lonely, but I don't want to know a lot and fake it when it is about loving them; that's worse. Not inspiring quotes, nor something or someone will make you feel better. It is your mind, when it de

الشهيد مش ميت، الشهيد حي مابينا. احنا بننزل الميدان و ماسبيرو، و لما نمشي هو بيعتصم..علشان يشجعنا ننزل تأني و عاشر. يفرح أوي لما نهتفله و ندعيله..و رصاصة تعدي من بين روحه تأني و توجعه لما يحس ان الثوار تعبوا. ف بأعلي صوت لازم نقول" متعبناش متعبناش" و الشهيد هيكمل معانا و يقول"الحرية مش ببلاش".                                        الفاتحة علي روح شهداء الحرية و الكرامة.. يسقط حكم العسكر.

Pictures from Ultras March

Videos from ultras March.  

At first: We just do mistakes, stupid mistakes. You could be knowing they will destroy you, but you keep going, or actually, you find yourself going there without feeling, you just wake up when you are at the midst of the big trouble. After it: I won't do it again. I regret that. I learnt the lesson. It won't happen again. Some sentences your head tells you, after your life is nearly shaken. And you could stay like that for weeks or months without repeating it. Again.. Your thoughts grab you..You find yourself doing it all over again. May be a new mistake, but if you though deeper, you will find that it is just the same one over and over again. You could curse yourself, hate yourself, feel ashamed and wish you are dead. But that's normal. It is not just you doing that. Everyone does that. That's life. Mistakes and Mistakes. You will never get rid of them, because it is always a brand new case everyday. No one succeeds from the start. It goes on as well.

One year went by our eyes. We wanted the change. We called out loud for freedom and equality, for our rights and dreams. We gathered together, hand in hand, in a single voice, in a single spot; for one thing: Freedom. We faced the gunshots, teargases and all the types of brutality. We had to get back to the 20th century, without mobile phones or internet. We stood a one man stand. Nothing shook us or made us even think twice. We toppled down Mubarak. We celebrated not knowing what could happen later. We didn't know that the mission is not accomplished yet. Ecstasy took over us and we weren't aware. Even if we had some feelings of worry, but yet we ignored them.. One year went by, and our rights are still not given to us. SCAF came and stole everything. That's the second part of the truth about the old regime. But this time, we won't wait. Waiting was never the best choice. We are moving now, and nothing will stop us. Flashbacks come, the blood is still there, and the m