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Her mirror.



Roaming around my room, feeling numb but moving; my legs were holding me hardly when I couldn’t hold the weight of my world. I saw a body looming in the mirror. I don’t know who that was or why it was moving unsteadily, I didn't bother. I approached the mirror and I was antagonized.

 I looked closely and I saw her. A girl, in her latest years of teenage, was staring at me. Something about her caught my breath away, and I couldn't point that thing out. He face was pale, dim and bloodless. Black circles around her eyes like the seven colors of spectrum, but in black shades. Her eyes weren’t scary, but jaded kind of scary. I couldn’t know where she was looking or what she was staring at about me, but I saw my face in her eyes’ pupil. I noticed her fading green of her iris, and was haunted my image inside her pupil once again. I wanted to know what she was seeing in me, but I never knew.

 I swallowed my saliva and grasped for a single breath of air.

 I reached for her mouth and her lips.  Her lips were as dry as dying plant. They didn’t look humanly and were full of cracks like a dead soil; no blood showed below them, I was appalled. Her lips were baleful blue, just like a corpse.

I started to hear a breathing noise. It was too quiet, but fast. I was trying to know its source as my attention was drew away from her face. The noise got louder and louder, and it sounded like an asthmatic chest miserly trying to let a breath in. I could hear a wheezing chest when I looked back into the mirror and saw her.

It wasn't her straight face anymore.

She was trying so hard, with her eyes trying not to shut. She was trying not to collapse, and I knew it was her. Her face was asking for help and I couldn’t help her. I wanted to and I didn’t know how. I saw her face reacting, painfully she was trying to heave the lift on her chest, and she still wasn’t able to breathe.
I saw her facial skin shrinking. I saw her face’s line and streams. I saw her forehead and veins, blue. Everything looked deadly, but her eyes were still open. They were staring at me again. I wanted to tell her that I am trying too hard to save her, but I didn’t know if she can hear me. I found a hand in the mirror reaching for her neck, trying to make it easier for air to flow.

I looked at her eyes with pity. I saw it in her eyes; I saw my pity dissolved in her tears. She tore up and it broke me. I was feeling her pain inside me in every way. Neither like knives nor guns, not even like falling off a bridge, it hurt way more than that. I can’t describe her dreadful feelings, and I couldn’t take it away either. I wished I can suck it all, but I only felt it with her.

She started breaking down and her wheezing chest might have hurt her more. I saw her weep and felt tears on my cheeks. I washed them away and saw my blurry hand in the mirror. I couldn’t fathom what was happening, but I was in this mirror. Tears made it hazy to look into the mirror and focus, and I was gasping for air.

I shut my eyes and felt the room’s walls coming down and suddenly everything started to get closer to black. I opened my eyes again. I still could hear that noise of an asthmatic chest and I was cramped and aching. I tried hardly to draw my eyelid up. I opened my eyes and felt the salty toxic tears, but I didn’t care. I wanted to reach for that girl. I wanted to save her.

I gravely tried to gaze at the mirror to reach for her, but I couldn’t find her anymore. It was just me; and I looked exactly like her. I blinked and opened my eyes, but still it was still me, and I looked exactly like her.
It was getting darker and darker, my head was spinning in circles and I couldn’t breathe. I needed to air so badly and I couldn’t reach for the inhaler. I was haunted by my face perishing face in the mirror, and I just couldn’t understand. I muttered “Where are you?”. No answer; just my chest seizing and my lungs on fire.
I knew it, but it was too late. I knew that she and I are one. It took me a while to understand, but time doesn’t stop. I didn’t save her. I failed and it got too dark.

It was quiet and still, everything was below my feet. I couldn’t reach for the mirror and I didn’t know where I was.

 Black was all I could see, no more me, and no more her. 
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